Before you get married, everyone gives you all sorts of savvy advice… How to handle fights, how to handle your budget, how to preserve your marriage… on and on. You get books to read, and examples to follow. You are more or less (usually less) prepared that there will be ups and downs. And let’s face it, for the first year there are generally more ups than downs. A few minor adjustments in learning to share the same space, maybe, but they honeymoon phase is real, and it’s all really happy and lovey and whathaveyou.
Then, slowly, reality creeps in. And it’s not like things get bad, but just different. And it’s just how everyone always described it to you, but you couldn’t really understand at the time. But let me tell you why I’m glad it’s different now.
This past week I just got over having the stomach flu. I won’t go into details, but we’ll just say it wasn’t pretty. And if you would have told me before I got married, or even in the first year of marriage, that anyone other than my own mother would witness me in such a sorry and disgusting state, I probably never would have signed on the dotted line. But for the second time in our married life, Nick calmly got up and cleaned up after me, bringing me anything I needed, doing laundry in the middle of the night, and generally taking care of intense grossness. And this was on top of having taken care of the kids all day. And this is not the first time this has happened… the first time was in a hotel room on vacation when he himself at the stomach flu at the same time!
But it was so normal. While I was highly appreciative, I was not horrified and embarrassed, like I would have been “back then” when we were first married. And when he was done cleaning up, he got back into bed with me and went back to sleep. Just like that. Like it was no big deal. But it was a big deal to me… because I’m so grateful that I have a best friend to be with for time and all eternity, who loves me even though he’s officially seen me at my very lowest. And that’s just cool.
I love all of your “marriage” posts – they are always so RIGHT ON! You guys are great. Yay for husbands that aren’t easily sicked out.
I love this post. How great to have someone to deal with our grossness. There are so many times when Chris hasn’t seen me at my best, but that is what makes us love each other more. If we were always not gross and perfect, we wouldn’t be able to sacrifice and grow!