I’ve been absent for awhile. Had you noticed? I’d love to give a really good excuse, like I was out of town on an amazing vacation, or helping put out the fires in Australia, or developing a plan for world peace. But I wasn’t. I was here. At home. Doing…. you know, I couldn’t even say.

I took a little break from posting, because I thought it would help me get things done. I thought if I left the computer alone, my house would be in better shape, my kids would be less neglected, and I wouldn’t be yelling at them as often to get their coats and shoes on and run to the car because we’re late. But it turns out, if I’m not using my time on the computer, I must find other ways to use it, because all the aforementioned things still happen. My house is never clean, my kids still crave my attention as though they never get it, and we’re definitely not on time…EVER.

I think most of my time as a mom I’ve been waiting for the point where I get it all together. Despite listening to all my friends (who seem put together) complain about how ‘not-together’ they are, I’ve continued to believe in that ideal… and that if I just work harder and get myself together, then everything will run smoothly. And each time I make progress in the organization front, things do go smoother, but something inevitably happens to knock my day out of whack. Sometimes it’s a little thing, sometimes it’s a big thing. Maybe it’s that Nolan doesn’t take as long as of a nap I was planning on. Or Mylie decides she needs to change her clothes as I’m walking out the door, and then has a major tantrum because the clothes she wants to wear are in the laundry. But whatever it is, I get frustrated that I can’t control things. It turns out, being a mom is 100% about learning to function happily with things (or more accurately…with people) you can’t control.

So, I’m learning. Slowly. I’m learning that I will never be able to control everything… or everyone. And I’m learning that I will never get “there”… to that place where everything flows smoothly because of my enormous preparations… and that’s okay. That place doesn’t really exist – not on a long-term basis, anyway. So, in the meantime, I’ll try to let go and take some time to make a few more posts here and there.

And just because this is how I’ve been feeling the last few weeks in my attempt to control, I needed to post this video for your enjoyment. Most of you have probably seen it before, but I don’t think it’s possible to see it too many times… it’s just that funny.

Some of my long-time readers will remember last year when I completed the swimming leg of my first Triathlon Relay. Of course, being totally green and naive, I hadn’t realized when my friends talked me into it that the swimming portion is the hardest of the three. I mean, think about it… When you’re in the middle of a dark murky lake at 6am, it’s kind of difficult to stop and catch your breath like you can on a bike or while running. And add in the part about waves lapping in your face, and other people kicking you in your nose, and weird lake plants tickling your legs, and it’s…well…a challenge, to say the least.

And yet, once I was done with the panic attack and then made it to the hand-off zone, there was something about it that was strangely empowering, and slightly addicting.

So, being a glutton for punishment, my former relay team and I have all signed up to complete the triathlon this year as individuals. That’s right…Swim, Bike & Run, here we come. The event is a sprint triathlon, which is the shortest distance there is. It will encompass a 1/2 mile open-water swim, a 12 mile bike ride, and a 5K run. Each distance on it’s own is quite doable. It’s the combining them all together that makes me nervous.

But, we’re going to try, if for no other reason than it will force us to get off the couch and get to the gym. Because if you know me, you know nothing motivates me more than an external deadline. I won’t exercise because it’s good for me… oh no. But to keep from looking like an idiot, or to keep from drowning… now that’s a good reason to exercise.

I may be resurrecting my exercise blog to track my progress… or I may not. But either way, check back after August 16th to see if I survived!