Winters Kids

Just a little update about what in the world we're doing these days…

Archive for the ‘Parenthood’ Category

Who’s The Sucker Now?

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

Mylie is a thumbsucker. It’s in her blood. Her father was a long-term thumb sucker as well. It is so highly ingrained in her DNA that when she was born, she had a blister on her hand from sucking in utero.

When she was born, she couldn’t quite get the thumb into her mouth successfully, so a pacifier sufficed for the short term. But she was merely weeks old when she was able to find the appropriate digit consistently, and after that the pacifiers were generally worthless.

I’ll be honest… we knew we were judged. Friends and family alike would make comments like, “Oh, I would never want my kid to suck her thumb. You can throw away a pacifier, but what do you do with a finger?” And we would merely look at them and smile sweetly. Because the truth is… as an itty bitty baby she was so cute sucking away on her little thumb. PLUS, we had a baby who knew how to self-soothe, and we never had to make midnight trips into the nursery to pop the paci back in. Nope, our kid slept 12 hours by 12 weeks and took two 2-hour naps a day, credited partially to the fact that if it fell out, she could stick it right back in without having to regain complete consciousness. It was lovely.

Really Truly - Thumb Sucking Babies Are Sweet

Buuutttt…. then she grew up. She turned two. Then three. Then four. The dentist started commenting about how we needed to get her to stop. Her teeth started to protrude out a bit. And we started itching for her to quit the habit. It just wasn’t that cute anymore, and it was border-lining on gross.

Thumbsucking at Two... kinda cute

Thumbsucking at Three... Not so cute anymore

For those of you who know us well, you’ll remember some of the difficulties we faced continue to face with potty training. Through all the suggestions we’ve been given and tactics we’ve tried, it continues to be a power struggle (though much better now than it used to be). So, as we’re just barely over that fight, I’ve been in no hurry to start a new one that I was sure would have similarly frustrating outcomes.

Luckily, even though we can’t remove or cut off her thumbs, I did believe I had a secret weapon up my sleeve. Her thumb sucking was almost completely tied to her blankies, and only happened when one was in hand. So over the course of the last couple years I’ve tried to discourage the blankies. First, they were no longer allowed in the car or out of the house. Then, we had her leave them in her bed except when watching movies or TV. I’ve been prepping her for the last couple years that at age 5, the blankies will be banished to bed only. She’s been prepared for that momentous day for quite some time.

To up the ante on quitting the thumb as well, I, being the stupid mother I am who never learns her lesson, decided I would throw a trip to Disneyland in the mix. I know, I know, I can hear the gasps now. But, since I wanted to take her to the Happiest Place on Earth about the time she was five, and because she had specifically said she wasn’t going to quit sucking her thumb until she was five, I figured the timing would work out swimmingly. Plus, after the potty training hell, I figured 5 would turn more into 6 or even later. I was sure I was safe.

Yes, famous last words. Turns out, the kid has more gumption than I knew. A few weeks ago, she was looking at her teeth next to Nolan’s in the mirror. She asked why hers had such a big gap and stuck out and why Nolan’s didn’t. While we’re not for making girls all self-conscious at an early age, Nick was honest with her. He told her it was because she sucked her thumb, and that if she continued to suck her thumb, it would get worse (okay, he was only partially honest… she would have a gap regardless… she and Nolan got COMPLETELY different sets of teeth out of the gene pool). So she, of course, said, “I’m not going to suck my thumb anymore.” And we smiled and nodded and then rolled our eyes at each other. I’m pretty sure, “Yeah right,” was what I muttered under my breath.

Um, yeah. Guess who hasn’t sucked her thumb since that very moment? That’s right, it’s been almost a month with no wet thumbs in sight. The girl up and quit cold turkey. We haven’t gone so far as to video tape her sleeping, and she did admit that one time she woke up in the middle of the night and found herself sucking, but stopped immediately. Still. Cold turkey? Really?

And now, of course, I’m the sucker who has to try to figure out a way to make good on the Disney promise before she starts calling me a liar. But really, couldn’t she have decided to do this a little before we booked the vacation to EUROPE?! How are we supposed to budget in Disneyland for a four year old who all the sudden decided she wanted to grow up, and with straight teeth to boot? Ah well, I guess what we fork over for Disneyland will just come out of the pot we were saving up for braces for her, right? Right.

Move Over Mickey, cuz here comes Mylie!

Move Over Mickey, cuz here comes Mylie!



Posted in Mylie, Parenthood, The Kids | 4 Comments »

The Blogosphere Killed My Momfidence

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

A post has been rolling around in my head for quite some time (approximately 2 months, as you will see from the date of my last post). I’ve been hesitant to post it, as I am not completely sure how to present my ideas without appearing to fish for compliments from the three of you who still occasionally check my blog my loyal followers. And yet, I proceed.

I’ve espoused the wonders of “Google Reader” on here before. Google Reader, or any other “feed reader” allows you to “subscribe” to your favorite blogs, being notified instantly of any new postings. And as soon as I caught the fire of a feed reader, I ran with it. One blog that I follow will link to a new blog that they like, and so I discover hundreds of new blogs. I am also able to cyber-stalk friends and past acquaintances by finding links to their blogs on my other friend’s blogs. It’s a wonderful system.

But here’s the rub. I am currently subscribed to 132 blogs. Yes, that’s right. 132. No wait, I just added another. Now it’s 133. And I’ve got them all sorted out in folders for different categories. I’ve got blogs on Digital Scrapbooking, Emergency Preparedness, Home Improvement, Education, Crafts, Penny Pinching, Family, Friends, Fun, Recipes, Religion, Politics, and blogs to tell me about when Google updates it’s feed reader. Seriously, it’s an addiction.

Now, of course, some bloggers are like me… their activity ebbs and flows, sometimes going dead for months. But, others make their living blogging, and so they post upwards of…well…let’s just say the number is infinite.

At first, I was really excited about all the cool information I was collecting. I got great deals, I got great craft ideas, found awesome recipes, and kept track of my family and friends. But as time went on, what I really started focusing on was how much I’m NOT doing. I’m not spouting crafts out my ears, like my friend Summer. I’m not an ace of cakes like Nick’s cousin. I don’t do educational activities each day like the chick on Chasing Cheerios. I try using coupons and save our family a little money each week, but it’s chump change compared to what the women on Frugal Living Online and Super Coupon Girl save. Occasionally I find the time to make my family a nice, well-rounded meal, but Annie at Annie’s Eats works full time as a Resident Medical Student, has a toddler, and still manages to create gourmet dishes from scratch AND blog about them – usually daily. I think I feed the kids fairly healthy food, but when I read the blogs at Super Healthy Kids it makes me feel like I’m practically poisoning them with garbage.

And then there’s the parenting skills. I’ve got a couple good blogs that post GREAT articles on parenting techniques. My favorite, Half-Full Blogversations, espouses such gems as “Emotion Coaching” and “Positive Parenting” and “Teaching Emotional Literacy.” They teach you how to stay calm when you’re angry and believe that rewards are bad for raising healthy adults. Sounds pie in the sky great, but when I try it out on my own kids – well, let’s just say the conversation doesn’t go quite the way they describe it. And when my kid gets more worked up the calmer I stay, I have to wonder what I’m doing wrong?

Growing up, I always pictured myself as becoming the kind of mom that did cool projects, that always had a stash of things to pull out of her hat to do. I pictured myself loving to spend time in the kitchen cooking with my kids. I pictured educational adventures abounding, and my children gathered at my knee singing in 4 part harmony. I thought I would be the quintessential Maria Von Trapp mixed with Martha Stewart with a little bit of Marie Curie thrown in. And that’s just what I see when I look at all these blogs. The culmination of everything I ever wanted to be… and I continue to fall short.

But wait… there’s still the life lesson. This Christmas, my wonderful and adoring husband gave me the best Christmas present ever… he published my blog into a book. It was something I have wanted to do for awhile, but… again… couldn’t find the time to fit it in. So, I got a little time to spend perusing the last two years of my life. And a light started to come on…

Then, as we’ve thought about our goals for this wondrously hope-filled new year, we’ve started to list our priorities. What is it that we want to make sure we fit in to each day? Turns out… all those things I thought I wanted to do are not even listed on my priorities list. Sure, I’d still like to get there some day. But what most of those people do… well, they specialize. They’re like a gourmet restaurant that knows what they do well, and they serve that up perfectly every night. They’ve got talent and they capitalize on it. Of course, I’m not saying these people can’t do anything else besides what they blog about. It’s just, that’s the only thing we get to see about their lives.

My talent? Well, from the day I was born my talent has been a desire to do EVERYTHING. And some of the time, I can make it happen. But as I grow older, I’m learning that “Jack of All Trades, Master of None,” is not just some meaningless adage. My list of things I want to do keeps growing bigger and bigger, and my time availability keeps growing smaller and smaller.

So, my goal for this year? I’m going to stop comparing myself to the blogosphere. I’m going to remember that what people publish is just a little tiny capsule of their lives… one that they choose to let you see. I’m going to remember that I’m just one person, and couldn’t possibly do the work of 133. I’m going to focus on my priorities, and realize that even if I yell at my kids, or never make a paper mache’ volcano with them, or let them watch TV for an hour every day while I sit at my computer, I can still keep my priorities in order. I can and will do the important things… I will read to them, I will spend a little more time with them. I will teach them the things that I AM good at, and I will give them the space to determine what they’re good at. I will pray with them, and read the scriptures with them. And, hopefully, I will teach them how to love, be loved, and how to love themselves. And maybe one day I’ll figure out how to do it all, and I’ll be that gourmet meal of a mom. Until then, I’m going to be satisfied with this delicious buffet line I get to dabble in and sample from.

Posted in Karli, Parenthood, The Parents | 12 Comments »