This morning, while I lay in blissful sleep, my funny four-year old bounded into my room, announcing, “Mom! Mom! I’ve got a great new game! You’ve got to try it!”

I think I may have uttered a slightly coherent, “Oh?”

“Yes, it’s called The Eater and the Cookie.”

“Mhmmm. Ah ha dya plaths gme?” (That’s, And how do you play game, in still-asleep-speak).

I was then given step-by-step directions on how we were going to play this game. Right now. In the loft. I managed to slip in 90 seconds of extra sleep by making her use the bathroom first before we proceeded to the loft for further instructions. In case any of you want to play, here’s how it goes. I made her come in and dictate it to me, lest I mess up any instructions.

“First the eater saw a cookie and packed it up and bringed it on the vacation.

“Then the eater ate it. All of his cookies.

“Then the eater had a tummy ache.

“Then he came home and rested.

“And then he got better.

“And then he ate some more.

“The gray big blanket is the tummy and when you eat me, I get under the blanket. First you have to pick me up and eat me from  your mouth and then put me under the blanket. Then I get out and you see another one. That’s it. That’s the story.”

So there you have it. I played. I ate. I got a tummy ache. I ate again. And then I had to carry my ginormous cookie downstairs for more “vacation.” Then we made the cookie eat her own breakfast.

Trust me… I don’t get it any more than you do. It was funny to watch how adamant she was that we act out this incredible new scenario she just dreamed up, as if it were the greatest idea anyone had ever had. I am pretty convinced the girl never shuts off her brain, though. Otherwise, how would you come up with such a game in your sleep? I see sleep disorders in her future.

"The Cookie"... She does look rather delicious.

After a long day today, I came home exhausted, flipped on my Google Reader, and found this on Confessions of a Homeschooler. It was timely and touching. I think I might post it by my bed. And my computer. And maybe laminate it and carry it around with me in my purse. Or maybe I’ll just try each day to remember what’s important.

So, if you know me at all, you may be aware that I’m somewhat craft-ily challenged. Oh sure, I can create things. Especially of the digital variety. And I can even do stuff with paper and glue and scissors. Sometimes. If there’s a pattern. And very detailed instructions. And someone telling me what to do. Every single step of the way.

But all y’all out there who have crafty creativity flowing out of you and pouring onto your blogs and such… well, that’s just a different realm for me.

Once, Nick and I thought we were crafty. We thought we were going to hand-make presents for everyone for Christmas. Seemed like an economical way to give meaningful gifts. So what did we think we could create out of thin air without so much as an example to go off of? That’s right… snow globes. Any of you who were part of the Great Snow Globe Catastrophe of 2003 will remember… and we sincerely apologize.

But I am pleased to announce the beginning of the end of my craft impairment. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. This week I have created not one… not two… but 3 different projects using only the power of my brain (i.e. no patterns). I submit them below as evidence.

I was browsing through the Oriental Trading website, when I saw a project kit for these. I almost ordered them to use next year, when I took a closer look. I thought, “I could do that!” Typically, those are my famous last words, as the plan in my head rarely turns out the way I want it. But Mylie and I made these earlier this week out of toilet paper rolls and construction paper, and I thought they turned out swimmingly.

Mylie vacillated this year between being Tinkerbell and being “Jessie” from Toy Story II for Halloween. Since it is sacrilege in our family not to have a theme, poor Nolan’s options were either Peter Pan or “Woody”. And though I think Nolan’s squishy fat legs would have been adorable in green tights, it appears that every little girl in the country is going as a fairy this year, so we opted for something a little different. Nolan’s inner macho-man (as well as his future teen ego) thanks us. So, Toy Story it is.

After over a week of isolation due to the H1N1 that hit our house hard, we were a little behind on the costume making. But, by last night we had finally rounded up all the needed supplies. But, since Toy Story is apparently the most unpopular theme this year, I was unable to locate any patterns. For anything. Anywhere. So, it was up to our brains and eyes to figure it out. Let’s face it, I was rather hopeless.

Seriously, the last thing I have sewed in my life was in my sophomore year in 4-H. And the last time I had to create a pattern from scratch? Eh… never. It was anyone’s guess as to whether we could pull it off, but we did it! Nick and I worked from 10pm to 3am last night and we did it!

A few details to call attention to:

Cowgirl Shirt Panel with authentic swirly thingers

And did I mention they’re sewed on, not glued?
Woody’s Felt Cowboy Boots
That’s right people. I made a 3-Dimensional Pattern without even using a tutorial from the internet. Because none exists. Seriously, go check if you don’t believe me. I made those puppies with sheer force of will.

Authentic Cowgirl Shirt Cuffs
Nick made this pattern, I did the sewing & decorating. Not too bad, if I do say so myself.

So there you have it. Crafts by Karli (& Nick). Don’t get too excited… I’m not going to be starting a craft blog anytime soon. Let’s just say I’m pleased to discover that a little shred of a domestic diva is alive in there….somewhere. And if she only comes out once a year, well, I’ll welcome her with open arms. And take lots of pictures to prove her existence!

I have to say, this blog has been percolating in my head for quite some time. If I talk to you on a semi-regular basis, you may have heard my theories and feelings espoused on more than one occasion. I have, however, neglected to post something heretofore, as this is an incredibly touchy topic that runs the risk of having me labeled as a bad mom, a crazy mom, a judgmental mom, or all of the above. So, let’s just suffice it to say that these are my beliefs as a parent, and I pass no judgment on others who choose to parent differently. I would hope that you afford me the same courtesy. As always, comments and discussion are highly encouraged.

I remember shortly after Mylie was born, and I had to go grocery shopping for the first time by myself. It was summer, and it was hot, and I was in a quandary. What do I do after I have loaded my kid and my groceries in the car? Do I leave the door open while I go put the cart back so she doesn’t smother in the heat during the 45 seconds it will take me to get to the cart carrel and back? Or do I leave the door open, and risk having a stranger grab her from my car in the 45 seconds it will take me to get there and back?

I ended up leaving the door open and keeping my eyes glued to her the whole time (because my x-ray death stare was sure to deter any would-be kidnappers), nearly running the cart into a couple parked cars in the process. After that harrowing experience, I learned that finding a parking spot right next to the cart carrel was more important than getting a spot close to the store. I would occasionally circle for minutes until I could find one that fit my parameters.

Boy, have I come a long way since then.

Flash forward about three years. I am having a horrible day. While dragging my toddler and newborn out of Costco on one very rainy day, and trying to get them into their car seats, I set my purse on top of my car, and proceed to drive off with it there. I don’t realize it until it’s too late, of course. Through process of elimination I figure out where I think it fell off (a crazy busy street) and drive by a few times, but don’t see it, and can’t just stop with the kids in the car to search. I decide to head to my UPS Store because we get our mail there, and that is the address on my license. I figure if anyone picked it up, they might try to return it there.

Because it’s still pouring down rain when I arrive, and I’m already very stressed out, I leave my kids in the car while I run in just to ask if they’ve had my purse turned in. I’ve parked right in front of the glass windows and can see my car the whole 3.5 minutes I’m in the store. I even see the woman that stops in front of my car. When I return, she curtly informs me, “Is this your car? You know, they arrest people for that.” I try to keep my cool while I explain, “I just had to run in for a second.” She gives me a glare that says, “Well, a second is all it takes, missy!”

And there’s the rub.

You see, because, it doesn’t just take a second. Not usually. In fact, very rarely. Not in a circumstance like that, in a busy parking lot, next to Safeway, up front by the sidewalk where lots of people are walking by and obviously aware (like that most helpful woman) of what’s happening around them. In fact, her watching out for me proves my point that my children were perfectly safe!

But I’m not just talking about kids in cars here. No, my soapbox extends much further than that. As my children grow older, I am continually frustrated more and more by what I am not able to let them do. I can’t let my four-year old ride her bike on the sidewalk outside our house by herself (without people coming to my doorstep, anyway), and I can’t let her walk behind me in Target without people telling me that there are dangerous people about who might snatch her if she’s not in my line of sight (true story). And the thing that really gets my goat is that I am forced to make my parenting decisions not on what I believe is the best thing for my family, but on what other people think I should be doing. Or more accurately, on what will or will not cause others to turn me in to the authorities.

So, being the incredibly logical thinker that I am, I decided to do some research on what my gut was telling me. And you know what? It turns out that the world is just as safe as I thought. In fact, it’s safer than it was 30 years ago! My go-to girl on this topic is Lenore Skenazy, who you may remember as the “crazy subway mom” from 2008. With her help, I’ve done my research and looked at the statistics that we’re dealing with here. As she explains on her blog,

“Had the world really become so much more dangerous in just one generation?Yes — in most people’s estimation. But no — not according to the evidence. Over at the think tank STATS.org, where they examine the way the media use statistics, researchers have found that the number of kids getting abducted by strangers actually holds very steady over the years. In 2006, that number was 115, and 40% of them were killed.

“Any kid killed is a horrible tragedy. It makes my stomach plunge to even think about it. But when the numbers are about 50 kids in a country of 300 million, it’s also a very random, rare event. It is far more rare, for instance, than dying from a fall off the bed or other furniture. So should we, for safety’s sake, all start sleeping on the floor?”*

Now, some may argue that there is still that tiny, random chance that our child could be snatched, and how could we ever live with ourselves* if something happened to our child? Well, my vote is we’re not living now. We’re keeping our kids cooped up indoors and then wondering why they’re fat and addicted to video games. We don’t let them get out and socialize, and we wonder why they’re incapable of handling situations on their own when the get older.

Secondly, and probably more importantly, the risk of your child getting killed in the car that you are driving is, like, a bazillion times greater than that of getting abducted and killed by a stranger. And yet… I strap mine into that hulking metal beast pretty much every day. And raise your hand if you’ve talked on your cell phone with your kids in the car. Your risk of getting your kids killed just shot up a few hundred percent.

So, my point? I strap my kids in the car. It would probably be very hard to live with myself if something happened to them while I was driving. But I continue to take the risk, because I can’t live my life in a bubble. And I do try to take measures to lessen the risk. I’ve got approved car seats, and I try to latch them securely. Similarly, when I let my four-year old ride her bike alone outside, I take the proper precautions to make sure she wears a helmet, knows the boundaries, has street sense, and yes, we’ve had the stranger-danger talk more than once.

And I do try to check on her every couple of minutes. But I’ll be honest… it’s less about me being worried about something happening to her, and more about me being worried about something happening to ME, if someone should turn me in for “endangering” my child. After all, we are encouraged to report each other if we even “suspect” abuse (audio case in point, below).

So, in protest of the ridiculous rules, regulations and laws that are beginning to clip my parental wings, I have joined the ranks of the self-proclaimed parents of “Free-Range Kids,” trying to do our part to raise our kids with a little more autonomy and independence, and hopefully, with the brains in their heads to back it up. We support walking (gasp!) to school (before you tell me how dangerous your neighborhood is, do you have the stats to back it up?), and letting your kids (when they’re ready) take public transportation alone. We support trick-or-treating because there has never been one documented case of someone being poisoned with Halloween candy. We support letting parents volunteer in schools without having to be put through painstakingly rigorous and expensive background checks. We support men, who are not all sex-offenders by nature. We support common sense replacing one-size-fits-all governing. And most of all, we support parents – and not lawmakers – determining when they’re children are ready for independence. Because, as Lenore says, “Children, like chickens, deserve a life outside the cage.”

*For more statistical references, try these links
Land of the free, home of the scared: An interview with Lenore Skenazy
Phony Numbers on Child Abduction
Today Show Revises Number of Missing Kids Downwards