Some people are organized. They make lists, have routines, and generally get things done. I used to be one of those people.
…And then I had kids.
I'm sure I'm the only one who ever feels like this...
It’s taken me about 5 and 1/2 years (aka since I became a stay-at-home mom) to figure out how little internal accountability I have. I was great with deadlines all through school, and could prioritize with the best of them. But once I had no more external deadlines imposed on me, I became very dysfunctional. Household chores that I didn’t feel like doing one night could easily get put off till the next morning. And why not? I didn’t have a schedule to keep.
But the more time goes on, and the more kids I have, the less that mindset is working. Plus, I want to teach my kids to have internal accountability. SO… I found this amazing little product and I cannot begin to tell you what kind of wonders its working in the Winters Home!
Accountable Kids is an all encompassing “system” for teaching responsibility, accountability and structure. We have tried other systems in the past, both home-grown and purchased, but they have all lost their luster fairly quickly. We started “AK” about six weeks ago, and we’re still going strong!
The basic idea incorporates a set of “Core Chores” that the kids have to complete. Very basic stuff, the fundamentals you HAVE to do each day to survive. Things like, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, etc. There’s a set of Core Chores for morning, afternoon, and evening. If all the chores are completed in a timely manner, they can earn a Ticket which can be redeemed for typical activities they like to do (TV, Computer, games, crafts, etc). In essence, very similar to other systems we’ve adopted.
Mylie's Chart
But AK takes it a step further. In addition to earning tickets, kids can earn “Best Behavior Cards” when we catch them doing something especially nice. I love being able to “catch them doing something good.” Also, they can earn “Privilege Passes” which helps modify specific behaviors. For instance, Mylie often comes out of her room after bed time. We can agree that if she stays in her room for the whole night, she can earn a Privilege Pass, which is redeemable for a predetermined reward (i.e. staying up a few minutes past bedtime). The final components of the system include earning “Bonus Bucks” for doing extra chores, which are redeemable for cold hard cash, and earning stars toward Special Date Nights with mom or dad.
Again, nothing life altering on the surface, but when put together in this way, it has really helped our family. Each child has a special chart with “Reminder Cards” that have a pictorial representation of what they still have to do. And they get the immediate feedback of flipping over the card when they’re done. At 5, Mylie is completely self-sufficient with the routine now, and gets up in the morning and has most of her morning chores completed (make bed, get dressed, fix hair, eat breakfast, take vitamins, brush teeth) before I’m even out of bed.
Nolan's Chart
The most unexpected reward of the whole system is what it’s done for the parents. It’s inadvertently set me up with a more standardized routine, and it’s harder for me to let it slide. It’s there, hanging on the wall, for all of us to see. So if we’re running late in the evenings, I can no longer just “skip” family scripture study. It’s on a reminder card, and the kids won’t let us! And it’s also helped me to remember that certain basic tasks really should be completed before I even allow myself to get on the computer in the mornings. I am currently working on creating a chart for Mom & Dad, so not only do we have a visual representation of what we expect of ourselves every day, but the kids can know “OH! Mom & Dad have to get those things done before they can play with me!”
And while some people can probably implement most of these routines on their own without a chart, for our kids, having the visual reminders is imperative. And it might be quite possible to create the whole system for yourself, make your own cards, etc. But when I started thinking about the time and materials it would take to do it, the cost for the system was actually very reasonable.
Our Accountable Kids Wall
We are thrilled with our new Accountable Kids system. The first couple days I kept hearing “This is so much fun!” Of course, we’ve had a few push-back moments since then, and a couple rounds of “You’re not making this fun anymore!” when chores weren’t completed and a ticket was not issued, but we forged on, and in general everyone knows what the expectations are.
The thing that I like the best is it’s really customizable to your family routine. You choose which chores are required, which chores are extra, when and how often they need to get done, etc. You can also choose what you offer best behavior cards and privilege passes for, and you get to choose how much tickets and bonus bucks are worth. And if the system seems to overwhelming to implement, it comes with a book that explains it all, using actual developmental theories to back up their system. You also only implement each piece a little at a time, so it really is not very overwhelming. And, if you go a whole day without using it – doesn’t matter! You just start again the next day.
Compared to systems we’ve tried in the past, this one ranks about a 4.5 out of 5 stars. My only real complaint about it is that they recommend kids have their core chores completed by a set time to qualify to earn tickets, etc, but for little ones who have no concept of time, this is hard to do without a lot of prodding from me. So we often use this system in conjunction with another one we have (Miracle Music), which sets their morning and evening routines to music, so the kids learn how much time they have to get the job done. Otherwise, the system has really fit nicely into our family. So, if you’re like me and think a little more structure could take you and your kids a long way in life, you may want to give this one a try.
